Strollers, another way to get road rage

So, I heard there was this stroller company moving to town and to celebrate their huge grand opening they were having a huge grand sale which, I would soon find out, would become a huge grand pain in my ass. It is sort of early to buy a stroller and I am not even safely out of my first trimester and I am a strong believer in jinxing my sorry ass. My mother agreed with me but then spent the next two days begging to go stroller shopping with me.

I'm not entirely sure how my mom feels about this pregnancy. When I told her i had a positive reading on the pregnancy test, she didn't say anything for what felt like an eternity and then told me to take another one in a few days. Cos, you know, it might go away like a nasty zit or something. I took one again the next day and called to tell her that I, indeed was STILL pregnant. I am sure it freaks anyone out when their youngest child tells them that they're having a baby of their own. Then, I thought back to my pre-pregnancy consult with Obgyn #1 where my mom kept asking him where in his office he kept the bar.

Where was I? Oh, yes strollers.

I didn't know much about this stroller company other than that they had some expensive strollers and some designer ones too like Kate Spade, Burberry and Lulu Guiness. I showed the Web site to Stew and he got busy comparing prices of these strollers to other strollers and safety ratings but then he got distracted because fantasy football is starting up so I had to do the rest of my research myself.

There are like 10 types of strollers, lightweight, midweight, mid-size, traveling systems, joggers, etc. I longed to be a mom in the 1950s who still drank and smoked my whole pregnancy, used a seatbelt to secure my kids in the car and called it a day. Holy moses! This was going to be time consuming research and it became clear to me that baby products were the way for you to keep pumping money into the economy. And I thought weddings were expensive. Pffft.

Obviously, the thing I care most is how much this sucker weighs. I mean the stroller, not the baby. Most strollers brag that they are lightweight at ABOUT FIFTY POUNDS. Heck? My Crystal Rocks jugs weigh less than that and I can just about wrangle those on. No thanks. This whole stroller business is madness. Then, you have to worry about the newborn head support that strollers offer. One more thing to think about.

Right now, I am amusing myself more at reading the reviews for a lot of these strollers poking fun at the spelling and wonder if most of these people ended up with kids because they couldn't read the directions on a box of Trojans. So, I only rely on the reviews I deem to be written by smart people who did their research. This narrows down my choices considerably and actually makes me scared for the gene pool.