Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3

Just came back from the doctor's office where I .... get this .... heard the heartbeat. Poor Stew missed it. I almost missed it had my doctor not said, "hey, wanna hear something cool?" And me thinking he had an in on the new Guns & Roses was waiting for something cool when I finally honed in on the "thwoomp thwoomp thwoomp" filling the room.

"Oh! That something cool." Duhhhhh.

Then, as fast as I got caught in the moment, I was taken out by my doctor's lecture on all the tests (nuchal and amnio) I have the option of taking all within 12 weeks while there is still time to abort if we had to. It's a horrible reality but one that you have to think about.

But, way to kill the moment, doc.

"But, if you know you're not going to do anything about it, then don't bother with the tests," my Doctor said. "And sometimes the amnio causes a miscarriage because you are sticking a needle into the placenta and potentially popping a balloon." Another morsel of food for thought.

Of course, my first reaction is to have every and any test known to man. But, then the harsh reality of what those tests might reveal and the decisions I'd have to make post-tests. I knew i would have to talk it over with Stew. So, when he got home I trailed him around the house with my folio of pictures. Then, I hit him with it.

"He said most people can't do anything once they hear that heartbeat," I said.

Stew gave me the look which said exactly what I was thinking when my doctor said that but didn't want him to know that mixed with blood, there's some ice. Only the man who married could really know that.

"I know. I told him I was not like most people."

The nuchal tests only test for Downs Syndrome. The amnio, while risky (1 in 400 have a miscarriage) tests for everything under the sun. My age factors into the testing, as does my height and weight. And while both tests are great and resourceful, they could yield false results and cause you to stress for the next nine months. Or, you could terminate your pregnancy and after an autopsy is done on the fetus, the doctors can come back and say, "it was nothing afterall." But, if it is something like, says, Spinal Bifoda, they can actually perform surgery on your baby in your womb. Modern medicine has come so far and yet has fallen short.

Of course, I can just do the nuchal but then if that has a bad result, I'd have to make a really hard decision about the amnio. It's a no win situation. And of course, as I tried to put on a brave face and tell my mom that I should do them anyway because they'll be fine. This is one healthy baby, made up of love, fruit, veggies and pizza; I can't be 100% sure. But, then again, nothing in life is 100%, right?