Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The See-food diet

I think one of the strangest things about this journey is my meals which went from daily planned meals to NEVER knowing what I want. And my usual low carb way of eating went the way of shoulder pads.

In the beginning, like the weeks before I even knew I was pregnant I was cherry and blueberry crazy. I would go to Stop & Shop and load up my basket with more cherries and blueberries than any one human should ever try to consume. Meals/snacks and dessert consisted of handfuls of blueberries and cherries. Now, I don't care to see either fruit again. During this time I could also not get enough vegetables. I would sit at work and dream about going home, cutting up a green pepper, sprinkling some sea salt on it and inhale it before dinner. My mom likes to say that the day I told her that I HAD to have Eggplant parm, she knew I was knocked up.

I'd like to think that my body was craving fruit and veggies because I denied myself of it for so many years.

During the early weeks like 6 to 8 weeks something bad happened. I could not even look at chicken or beef. Three bites of it filled me up and then looking at the remainder of it made me sick. Sick of meat!!! FOR SHAME!!!!! Fish was about all I could handle. My dense morning protein bar had to be replaced with a lighter one followed by some fruit. I couldn't even look at wings on wing night.

My taste for meat came back around the 9th week but it's rare when I will ask Stew to grill me up a burger. For a while I was eating a nightly snack of plain yogurt with strawberries, blueberries, a packet of Splenda and some vanilla extract. Then, I grew sick of that. I was finally able to eat wings at wing night again but only the general tsao's, the baby did NOT like spicy food. No coffee, no meat and no spicy food. My life was slowly beginning to fall apart.

Week 9 and 10 brought the desire to smother anything I ate in sour cream and guacomole. My mom thought I really lost it when she invited us over for meatloaf and I asked if she had sour cream. The same goes for tatziki sauce. However, even with a newfound love for these condiments I could still take or leave catsup and mustard. Blech! Unless it's a hotdog with cheese and kraut in which case I need spicy brown.

Week 10 resulted in an interesting craving for a Burger King chicken sandwich which I immediately regretted it the second I bit into it. My super pregnany tastes allowed me to pinpoint the exact date they last changed their fryer oil which was some time in 1998. Also the same week I HAD to have a grilled cheese with bacon and tomato. Something I hadn't had since 1997.

Week 11, my love for spice came back and I would sit on the couch with a jar of ice cold pepporcini peppers and eat them right out of the jar. Around that time I started to crave turkey and cheese sandwiches. The deli guy started asking questions when I upped my order from a quarter of a pound to three quarters of a pound. And people at work were starting to get suspicious when they saw I traded in my staple cans of tuna for three inch thick turkey and cheese sandwiches on whole wheat and a cup of applesauce. "Low carb bread" I'd say before scampering off to my hiding spot to eat in peace.

Then my cottage cheese kick started as I entered my 12th week. Cottage cheese with garlic salt and dill sometimes. Other time, spooned over peaches or pears. Of course my mom finds this pretty interesting because that was her craving when she was cooking me. Except, she liked to put vinegar on her cottage cheese. Yuck! This week also gave way to a strange craving for KFC biscuits. Stew brought home 4 (because I refused to have more sitting around) and I nuked one before dinner, smothered it in I Can't Believe it's not Butter and devoured it. Best. Biscuit. Ever. The second biscuit was dessert.

Week 13 seems to be all about Smartfood (yes, the cheddar popcorn) and more cottage cheese and fruit. My appetite also seems to be increasing and so does my girth as all my clothes are starting to feel really snug nowadays. Of course, those nearest to me will say I don't look pregnant and I love them for being good liars.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

1 down 2 more to go

My first trimester is coming to a close in one week. I had the first (and last) of my genetic defects test. Friday morning, I woke up bright and early and met my mom at OBGYN #1's office for my Nuchal Translucency test. This is where they measure the fluid in the baby's nuchal chord to see if it is at risk for any birth defects like Down Syndrome. Needless to say, I was on pins and needles all week striking deals with Stew about which risk percentage would be the magic number before we decided to terminate the pregnancy. Of course me, Stew being the wonderful guy that he is, assured me nothing would be wrong anyway.

How did a Negative Nelly like me end up marrying such a ray of sunshine? And why must I always doubt him?

Mom sat in the room with me from her spectator chair in the corner but I blocked off the chair furthest from the table so she could be close if I needed any hand holding. As soon as the dildo cam went in, I saw the little bugger squirming about stretching out and swatting at this intruder. It totally freaked me out. I mean, here was this spastic alien inside me spazzing out and I could feel NOTHING. Like his/her mom, the baby likes its alone time. Yup, that's my kid.

Mommy, hand, please, NOW!!!

(Yeah, that's great, Fleetwood Mac's Landslide just came on my iPod as I write this so expect some typos through the blur of tears. Hormones!)

He/she seemed to settle down for the technichian to get the measurements and then waved at me so I could see their little fingers that are forming and then I swear he/she stuck their tongue out at me. I guess I deserved it seeing as I spent weeks discussing his/her fate which suddenly felt incredibly selfish.

The whole thing was pretty painless and the technician lives in Port Chester where my mom grew up and I spent a good chunk of my childhood visiting my grandparents so we talked. Of course, my mom kept slipping in questions to find out how long she has been doing this and where she worked before to make sure I was in good hands. While the ultrasound itself looked good, we still have to wait to see what the blood tests reveal.

Go waiting.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Depress Express

Sad. I am about 11 weeks and already my clothes are feeling a bit snug. And I don't know about you but when my clothes feel tight, it makes me feel bigger than I might appear to be (to me at least, I can't account for anyone else's opinions of me as of late). I'm not quite ready to move into maternity wear but I have definitely had to thin out my wardrobe and pack away items that I deemed to be at risk of cutting off my circulation. Of course, I folded them up neatly saying the same sentiment to each item, "see you soon .... I hope."

Lucky for me the fashions as of late are mostly empire waist and make me look sperminated anyway. Some will just plain make me look like a Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade float when I REALLY start showing. Honestly, I know the 4 lbs I put on so far have a lot to do with water retention and having to eat a lot of stuff I don't usually eat thus causing more water retention. It reminds me of when I used to not care about the scale for the week between Christmas and New Years. I'd feast on Christmas Cookies, eat dessert, graze my way through parties and weight myself on January 2nd and fall over looking at a 9 lb gain. A few days of protein drinks, mass amounts of water and just going back to a low carb way would shed those pounds in a week.

Sure, I have my sweets every now and then. I always have. But, more often than not, I talk a lot more about eating a brownie that has been in the freezer now for two months than actually doing it. Or guilt wins out by the time I make it to the kitchen and I come back to the living room with a big bowl of salad. But, the kid needs things like grains so I've had to move stuff like whole wheat bread, whole wheat pasta and brown rice into my diet. And I have been craving fruit which is usually he devil to me because it's full of sugar. I have to double my calcium intake because of the blood thinners so calcium fortified applesauce, yogurt and milk (which I haven't drank in about 5 years) is suddenly in my face ringing in at at least two 8 oz glasses a day (along with 4 calcium supplements) which adds up despite being 2%. Prunes are usually a late night snack for obvious reasons and those puppies are FULL of sugar and carbs. And vegetables, which are not bad for the average person but are carbs in their own right. Not to mention they don't fill you up like a good piece of protein (which I can't seem to stomach more than 3 bites of unless it's fish which is a slippery slope when you're pregnant) manages to do. So, a couple hours later, you're looking to nosh again.

I guess what I am saying is, if I am going to gain weight this fast at least let it be on Christmas cookies.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Strollers, another way to get road rage

So, I heard there was this stroller company moving to town and to celebrate their huge grand opening they were having a huge grand sale which, I would soon find out, would become a huge grand pain in my ass. It is sort of early to buy a stroller and I am not even safely out of my first trimester and I am a strong believer in jinxing my sorry ass. My mother agreed with me but then spent the next two days begging to go stroller shopping with me.

I'm not entirely sure how my mom feels about this pregnancy. When I told her i had a positive reading on the pregnancy test, she didn't say anything for what felt like an eternity and then told me to take another one in a few days. Cos, you know, it might go away like a nasty zit or something. I took one again the next day and called to tell her that I, indeed was STILL pregnant. I am sure it freaks anyone out when their youngest child tells them that they're having a baby of their own. Then, I thought back to my pre-pregnancy consult with Obgyn #1 where my mom kept asking him where in his office he kept the bar.

Where was I? Oh, yes strollers.

I didn't know much about this stroller company other than that they had some expensive strollers and some designer ones too like Kate Spade, Burberry and Lulu Guiness. I showed the Web site to Stew and he got busy comparing prices of these strollers to other strollers and safety ratings but then he got distracted because fantasy football is starting up so I had to do the rest of my research myself.

There are like 10 types of strollers, lightweight, midweight, mid-size, traveling systems, joggers, etc. I longed to be a mom in the 1950s who still drank and smoked my whole pregnancy, used a seatbelt to secure my kids in the car and called it a day. Holy moses! This was going to be time consuming research and it became clear to me that baby products were the way for you to keep pumping money into the economy. And I thought weddings were expensive. Pffft.

Obviously, the thing I care most is how much this sucker weighs. I mean the stroller, not the baby. Most strollers brag that they are lightweight at ABOUT FIFTY POUNDS. Heck? My Crystal Rocks jugs weigh less than that and I can just about wrangle those on. No thanks. This whole stroller business is madness. Then, you have to worry about the newborn head support that strollers offer. One more thing to think about.

Right now, I am amusing myself more at reading the reviews for a lot of these strollers poking fun at the spelling and wonder if most of these people ended up with kids because they couldn't read the directions on a box of Trojans. So, I only rely on the reviews I deem to be written by smart people who did their research. This narrows down my choices considerably and actually makes me scared for the gene pool.